Never attempt a world record on an empty stomach

So, in Tehran they attempted the world record for the largest sandwich. It was 1,500 meters long, allegedly, and was being stuffed with ostrich meat and chicken.

A funny thing happened on the way to measuring it, though. The crowd of over-excited Iranians surged forward and ate it! Ate the potential record-setting sandwich before it got measured.


The judges say it's possible they could check video for evidence and still get the record.

Stories I had nothing to do with

The US Navy says they have found the wreckage of lost WWII submarine, the USS Grunion.

An Austrailian boy broke into a zoo, killed some animals and fed others to a crocodile.

The Ig Nobels are out.

The Mob Museum will open soon in Vegas. The official name of it? The (redacted) Museum: The Las Vegas Museum of Organized Crime and Law Enforcement. Hmmm. Should make for interesting t-shirts.

You hate to see that.

According to news reports, a Ft. Meyers, Florida man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him.

The two had returned home from a bar (Alcohol was involved? Shocking!) and the man wanted to the one-on-one version of the hokey-pokey. She wanted to sleep.

So, naturally the man went into the next room and shot himself in the arm.

Twice.

After that, he apparently threatened her then stumbled into the kitchen where he fell and knocked himself unconscious against the stove.

Talk about not being your night. Whew.

The story seems odd to me because usually women denied me sex AFTER I shot myself a few times, not before.

Ah yes. This is news.

I noticed several on-line news sources today actually used a story about Kentucky Fried Chicken's secret recipe.


It seems they're moving the actual original written recipe to an undisclosed location while they beef up security at the recipe's permanent home.

There was also a mention that they were going to somehow add the recipe for original recipe chicken strips to that secure area for some reason.

I did mention many news outlets covered this, right? Sigh.

Not long after I checked my email and found the latest email from KFC (yes, I subscribe to their wonderful mailing list). What are they featuring in their message to their customers? The new original recipe chicken strips.
What else? They offer you the chance to put your biggest secret in their virtual 'Secret Safe'. http://www.kfc.com/secretsafe/

"Who better than KFC to protect your biggest secret? The same company that has kept the Colonel's Original Recipe a secret for decades will now keep your secret safe! Enter your secret below to place it in the Colonel's Secret Safe for some finger-lickin' safekeeping!"

This is funny enough, but what happens when you click their link?

"Shhh... And to make sure your secret stays completely anonymous, please do not include any personal information... no names please!"

Tell us your darkest secret... but please, don't tell us who you are! My secret is #7729. Ooops. Damn, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
After you've entered your secret, you are given the option to find out more about Original Recipe Strips. Yay!

First of all - Was this a news story? Nope. If one reporter would've done an ounce of research, it would've been obvious that this was just something to get publicity for their new product. Second - When can get the strips, and why didn't my email have coupons in it?