Did someone say Mothman? No? Oh, my bad.

Is it that time again? Has it been a year already?

It just wouldn't be September without the annual Mothman Festival, but I'm sure I don't have to tell you. You no doubt visited Point Pleasant, West Virginia yourself to drink Mothman lattes, eat Mothman Pancakes and sing Mothman songs (ok, I didn't hear any songs).

Maybe you dressed like one of the Men in Black, a ghost, the Ghostbusters or Mothman himself.


Surely you took a picture in front of the permanent, giant metal statue of the Mothman.


Then you must have stopped by to stock up on t-shirts, mugs, post cards, books, graphic novels, necklaces and wind-chimes (all Mothman-centric).


No?

Huh.

Was your Mothman alarm clock not working this morning?

Sorry, nothing witty.

I have nothing to say about Joss Whedon's upcoming midseason Fox drama, Dollhouse yet.

I won't cringe because I hear they're doing script rewrites, I haven't gone to check out any leaked pages or scripts. I'll wait and just watch the show. I know the basic premise and that's enough for now. I went into Firefly knowing nothing about the show and I was just getting started on Buffy, so I got to be pleasantly surprised by how much I loved both.

There is, however, one thing I know for sure about the show:

Eliza Dushku.

Ah yes. There will be no further comment.

Go away now.

The boat is plenty big

The larger-than-life fisherman/sharkhunter Frank Mundus, said to be the inspiration for the character of Quint in Jaws, passed away last week.


His wife said he suffered a heart attack, his second in less than a week.

According to one article he once harpooned a 4,500 pound great white shark, and caught another 3,400 lb one with a rod and reel.

The article also quoted him as once saying "I had a lot of close calls," he once said. "Probably too many close calls."

For most people in the world of sharks, one close call is too many.

He called Jaws the "funniest and the stupidest" movie he had ever seen.

Yeti Love from the Comics

I've recently discovered the awesomeness that is I Love the Yeti. As the name implies, the site offers tons of artwork of the Yeti, links to the Yeti art of others, and a look at things which might seem Yeti at first glance, but on closer inspection, aren't.

I was perusing my comic book collection for the first time in years (honest) and was surprised at how many times a Yeti showed up on covers.

As a tip of the cap to I Love the Yeti, here are a few of them.

After the success early on of the Indiana Jones movies, Marvel Comics had a fairly decent series based on the the character. Naturally, he eventually ended up in the Himalayas.

I occasionally checked out the comic book Alpha Flight. Mainly because they crossed paths with the X-Men on a frequent basis. Alpha Flight was kinda the Canadian version of the X-Men. They did have a member named Sasquatch, and yes, that's what he was. At one point, a shapeshifter decided the best way to fight Sasquatch, was to become one. The shapeshifter could only transform into white creatures so this is what you get...

Maybe we can classify that one in the not Yeti column?

Another that hovers on the Yeti/Not line comes from Batman.

In this issue, Batman is on the trail of a crook that leaves his victims frozen solid, kinda like Mr. Freeze. His investigation leads him to follow a champion skier as his prime suspect. His investigation leads him to discover the suspect's mother's diary. Here it's revealed that she was once stranded on a mountain and near death. She was rescued by a stranger who nursed her back to health. Apparently, she was very grateful. Not until after showing her gratitude did she realize who her hero really was..

Yeah. Him.

Now, I'm no expert, but even if they were waiting out a horrible snowstorm in a dark cave with no fire, wouldn't there be other ways of figuring out she was shacking up with a Yeti? Never mind.

Anyway, the son turned out to be a sort of superpowered combination of human and Yeti, able to change his looks from normal to, well, this:

What name is that? Snowman. Not really all that frightening, actually. Eh. Whatta ya gunna do? All the good cold-weather villain names were probably taken.

I write a column under the name Jane Doe

Fletch author Gregory Mcdonald passed away at his farm in Tennessee. He was 71.

Chevy Chase played Mcdonald's Irwin M. Fletcher twice in the 80's, in Fletch and Fletch Lives.

Ah yes. This is news.

I noticed several on-line news sources today actually used a story about Kentucky Fried Chicken's secret recipe.


It seems they're moving the actual original written recipe to an undisclosed location while they beef up security at the recipe's permanent home.

There was also a mention that they were going to somehow add the recipe for original recipe chicken strips to that secure area for some reason.

I did mention many news outlets covered this, right? Sigh.

Not long after I checked my email and found the latest email from KFC (yes, I subscribe to their wonderful mailing list). What are they featuring in their message to their customers? The new original recipe chicken strips.
What else? They offer you the chance to put your biggest secret in their virtual 'Secret Safe'. http://www.kfc.com/secretsafe/

"Who better than KFC to protect your biggest secret? The same company that has kept the Colonel's Original Recipe a secret for decades will now keep your secret safe! Enter your secret below to place it in the Colonel's Secret Safe for some finger-lickin' safekeeping!"

This is funny enough, but what happens when you click their link?

"Shhh... And to make sure your secret stays completely anonymous, please do not include any personal information... no names please!"

Tell us your darkest secret... but please, don't tell us who you are! My secret is #7729. Ooops. Damn, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
After you've entered your secret, you are given the option to find out more about Original Recipe Strips. Yay!

First of all - Was this a news story? Nope. If one reporter would've done an ounce of research, it would've been obvious that this was just something to get publicity for their new product. Second - When can get the strips, and why didn't my email have coupons in it?

More Bad News For Bigfoot

You've all followed the story right?

A couple of guys claimed they found a family of Bigfoot, noticed a dead one and hauled it back to a freezer in their garage or basement or something. They then froze the Bigfoot corpse solid and started contacting the press.

A promoter/Bigfoot hunter gave the men some up-front money against future earnings if they would turn it over to him and let him do the authentication before taking Bigs on the road.

After a huge press conference, they turned over the freezer and... made themselves scarce.

Why? Because this:


turned out to be a fake. When the freezer thawed out, there was obviously nothing but a costume inside.

This is bad news for Bigfoot hunters, scientists and several other bipedal mammals, but the news anchors and reporters failed to talk about the shadow it will cast on this year's presidential election. The mad scramble to prove or disprove the authenticity of the thing in the freezer turned up more than anyone expected.

I'm sorry. I don't want to admit it any more than you do, but

The Yogi Bear/Bigfoot presidential ticket isn't going to happen.


That's right. BEARFOOT in '08 is history.
Here's why:

1. Cloud of uncertainty hangs around Bigfoot's birthplace. May be a Canadian.

2. Yogi's felony arrests for pic-i-nic basket theft and hiker mauling.

3. NRA wouldn't endorse them; both candidates support gun control. Heavily.

4. Bigfoot is a Nader fan, Yogi refuses to go third party.

5. Boo Boo's threats to disclose certain information about Yogi's lifestyle.

6. Yogi's laughable foreign policy.

So there it is. As much as it hurts, I said it. I think we can all start the healing process and move on. I'm going outside right now and take the sign off my lawn.



Won't you do the same?

The Super Friends get no respect.

The Super Friends were never allowed to play in any of D.C.'s reindeer games. Their stories weren't a part of the overall continuity, and with pretty good reason. I recently stumbled on the trades of the SF comic series and found some things that would make your cape curl (not in a good way).

Example?
How about this one, where The Overlord built some puppets and then put on a mind control helmet and was immediately able to addle the Super Friends' minds? He
controlled them all at the same time, making them angry and ready to take over the world.

Naturally, Wonder Woman went to free the oppressed women of Africa, The Wonder Twins decided to take over all of Europe and Asia (Huh? What was the plan there?), Robin went to crush Australia, Batman covered North America and Superman, naturally, wanted to put the smackdown on South America. Yeah.

Anyway, Supes ran into trouble.



Yes, the Green Fury showed up to stop him. She eventually showed off some pretty rockin' powers.

Eventually.

That's all well and good, unless you show up like this...



Yeah. She rode in on green flames coming out of her nose! Think about that. Superman, in all his crazy powerful glory, versus the flaming snot powers of The Heroine of Brazil.

Are you seriously going to ask what the outcome was?

Sure, the comic was aimed at a younger audience, but come on.

Oh. My bad.

I was very excited about this movie Tropic Thunder. Sounded awesome until I realized my mistake:

I was thinking Tropic Thundaar.



Come on! Jack Black as Ookla the Mok, maybe get your Gretchen Mol or your Amy Adams to play Ariel. It'll happen my friends.They all head out in their dune buggy and hit some tropical, yet post-apocalyptic wasteland. Yeah. I'm down for that.

Who would play Thundaar, though? Knowing Hollywood? I'm guessing Will Ferrell.